Why...If...How...When
HOW many more times will I hear about police officers shooting unarmed black men. WHEN will the feeling I get in my stomach and throat after reading about cases like the one in New York over the weekend stop. I wonder what it will feel like WHEN I have to stop telling my young children that police officers are their friends and start reminding my teenagers to be cautious and to refrain from making sudden movements IF they are stopped. It is funny HOW "police officer" means different things to us at different ages, classes, genders, and races. It means safety for some people, and I hope they don't hurt me for others.
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Monday, November 27, 2006
Girlfriends and Gumbo...........
I know that title sounds like part two to the movie Ya Ya Sisterhood or the sequel to the book Sunday Brunch, but I had such a great time hanging out with some girlfriends while eating gumbo for brunch. My friend , a New Orleans native, hosted the event and her gumbo was great. The five of us ate, reviewed the Sean Combs and Kim Porter article in Essence, watched Something New, and just talked. My favorite part of the article is when Sean says he knows Kim deserves to be married, but he's not ready. Kim says she's content with not being married, even though she will have a total of three of his children. Her reason for being satisfied with the situation is that most marriages don't work out so why label it and that her parent’s marriage didn't work out. I wondered if she was really "okay" with not being married or if her reason for not pushing the issue is solely based out of fear that she couldn't have a decent marriage. One of Sean's main reasons for not wanting to get married is that he doesn't have time to be a good husband. I wondered if he thought he had time to be a good father. After reading the article my respect for Kim increased a "tinch", but I wish people and television shows would stop covering them like their situation is hot. If this was a regular Joe and a regular Jane in the same situation I think the media would call Jane a baby's mama and Joe would just be one of the many men who get the milk for free. Anywho, the article resulted in great conversation.
After talking about that article I felt so thankful that I was able to be healed from the hurt and pain from my parent's divorce. Even with all that my family went through, I couldn't imagine going into relationship thinking it will not work out because my parent's marriage didn't work. I don't think that every man is going to hurt me. I spent most of my teens and college years fearing marriage, but after going through the healing process I now look forward to married life with a traditional marriage. I cover my ears remarks like "girl make sure you have a savings account on the side in case it doesn't work out" or "always keep an emergency apartment or condo just in case....". I can't live my life like that and anyone who does has no faith and much fear. If we really felt like we had to take those precautions going into a marriage, then the person we plan to marry isn't the one for us. I refuse to let divorce control my love life or prevent me from being loved and honored by a man. I wish Kim and others like her would stop making comments like that and heal. I know it isn't always easy to let go and heal, but it sure beats being controlled by divorce or the mistakes your parents made. I used to feel like I was so different from or less than people who grew up in a two-parent family, but I don't feel like that anymore. I guess I'm brand new =). Something special happens when we refuse to let negative circumstances control our destiny.
I know that title sounds like part two to the movie Ya Ya Sisterhood or the sequel to the book Sunday Brunch, but I had such a great time hanging out with some girlfriends while eating gumbo for brunch. My friend , a New Orleans native, hosted the event and her gumbo was great. The five of us ate, reviewed the Sean Combs and Kim Porter article in Essence, watched Something New, and just talked. My favorite part of the article is when Sean says he knows Kim deserves to be married, but he's not ready. Kim says she's content with not being married, even though she will have a total of three of his children. Her reason for being satisfied with the situation is that most marriages don't work out so why label it and that her parent’s marriage didn't work out. I wondered if she was really "okay" with not being married or if her reason for not pushing the issue is solely based out of fear that she couldn't have a decent marriage. One of Sean's main reasons for not wanting to get married is that he doesn't have time to be a good husband. I wondered if he thought he had time to be a good father. After reading the article my respect for Kim increased a "tinch", but I wish people and television shows would stop covering them like their situation is hot. If this was a regular Joe and a regular Jane in the same situation I think the media would call Jane a baby's mama and Joe would just be one of the many men who get the milk for free. Anywho, the article resulted in great conversation.
After talking about that article I felt so thankful that I was able to be healed from the hurt and pain from my parent's divorce. Even with all that my family went through, I couldn't imagine going into relationship thinking it will not work out because my parent's marriage didn't work. I don't think that every man is going to hurt me. I spent most of my teens and college years fearing marriage, but after going through the healing process I now look forward to married life with a traditional marriage. I cover my ears remarks like "girl make sure you have a savings account on the side in case it doesn't work out" or "always keep an emergency apartment or condo just in case....". I can't live my life like that and anyone who does has no faith and much fear. If we really felt like we had to take those precautions going into a marriage, then the person we plan to marry isn't the one for us. I refuse to let divorce control my love life or prevent me from being loved and honored by a man. I wish Kim and others like her would stop making comments like that and heal. I know it isn't always easy to let go and heal, but it sure beats being controlled by divorce or the mistakes your parents made. I used to feel like I was so different from or less than people who grew up in a two-parent family, but I don't feel like that anymore. I guess I'm brand new =). Something special happens when we refuse to let negative circumstances control our destiny.
I hope you had a great Thanksgiving. I am so thankful! I celebrated Thanksgiving with my Uncle and his wife's family in Knightdale. At first I was a little sad that I wasn't going to Texas, but I had a good time. My friend came along. My aunt's family can be weird at times so I had to brief her, but they actually behaved. I'm going to have to bring her with me more often =). One of my aunt's brothers wore a glitter T-shirt with Eazy-E's face on it. This man is in early 40s. Got to love them!
Another highlight of the day was the Cowboys victory!
I ate a whole apple pie and sweet potato pie. That is the reason why I don't keep sweets or chips in my house. I eat them just because they are there. My stomach (pouch) needs to be toned. I started working on it yesterday.
I didn't buy anything on Friday. Later S, Ashleigh, and I went to see Deja Vu. It was good. Denzel gets finer with age. After the movie we got a bite to eat with our special guest K. He is great. Then we moved the party to the Starbucks (crack) Cafe at Barnes N Nobles. I enjoyed talking and spending time with them. Sauniell needs to bring more special guests. They really got me thinking more about my life goals and being more socially conscious instead of social when it comes to joining certain social organizations. Thanks. I really enjoy nights like that. Who needs the bar or club scene?!?
Another highlight of the day was the Cowboys victory!
I ate a whole apple pie and sweet potato pie. That is the reason why I don't keep sweets or chips in my house. I eat them just because they are there. My stomach (pouch) needs to be toned. I started working on it yesterday.
I didn't buy anything on Friday. Later S, Ashleigh, and I went to see Deja Vu. It was good. Denzel gets finer with age. After the movie we got a bite to eat with our special guest K. He is great. Then we moved the party to the Starbucks (crack) Cafe at Barnes N Nobles. I enjoyed talking and spending time with them. Sauniell needs to bring more special guests. They really got me thinking more about my life goals and being more socially conscious instead of social when it comes to joining certain social organizations. Thanks. I really enjoy nights like that. Who needs the bar or club scene?!?
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