About ME.................

Alright. The people have spoken. Here it is.............

I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior on December 31, 2004 at the Potter's House in Dallas, TX. I grew up in a "Christian" home, was reared in parochial schools with mandatory religion classes, and I went to church (every now and then my first year of grad school), but I didn't really know the Lord. He wasn't personal to me; rather he was routine. He was the thing you did, because you were told to or everyone else was doing it. Although I was a nice person, I was not submitted to the Word of God. I saw nothing wrong with doing what you want to do on Friday and Saturday nights and then playing Christian on Sundays.

The night I accepted Christ an indescribable feeling came over me during praise and worship and Bishop Jakes' sermon. I cried and cried tears of joy and repentance. I knew in my heart that this was the end of my life as I knew it, and that my walk was beginning. I knew I had to submit to the Word and find a church home that would feed me spiritually. When I returned to the Triangle, a friend introduced me to WOCC, and I felt at home. I joined a little later. At that point I didn't get too involved in church, because I didn't really want to be accountable to anyone.

Also, at that point in my life I knew what I was supposed to be doing, but I had one foot in and the other out. I could feel God tugging on me as I battled with knowing that many of my actions weren't right and at the same time wanting to "fit in" with everyone else. I was slowly dieing to myself and becoming brand new in Christ, and it was not easy. One week I was on the right path, and the next I fell hard. When I wasn't doing right, I felt guilty or a conviction, and I knew that life wasn't supposed to feel like that. I knew that if I just followed God's promise that I wouldn't feel like that anymore and would be blessed, but I continued to have one foot in and the other out.

God was patient with me, and He kept giving me chances to fully yield to Him. I can remember each of those times. I can also remember my resistance. There where so many instances in which I fell out of God's protection, and if I would have just submitted to Him ............

One day God placed me in a position where I had no choice, but to submit. I think He had enough of me =). I fully gave my life to God. I submitted my all and rejoiced in His covering. I promised to serve Him and follow His Word. My relationship with Him was now intimate. Although I have reaped many blessings from this intimacy, I would serve Him even if it meant receiving nothing. My life is not perfect, but there is a peace and happiness. The "hard times" don't get the best of me.

So to answer the question about why I blog, and if I feel uncomfortable putting my business out there.........

When I fully gave my life to God, I asked him to use me. I know he's doing just that. Before last year I was extremely private. To stand in front of people and tell my life story, to show you my wrongs and how I overcame them, and to just talk about me is not like me. Maybe my experiences will show people that they are not alone, that the world may say one thing, but God says another, and that there is protection in submission to the Lord. I want to keep it real, and talk about the hard things. I want to show people that you don't have to have a perfect past in order to come to know Him. Blogging, being submitted to earthly people, and being involved in my church keep me accountable for my actions. I want to bring people to Christ, and I try my best to lead by example. Now I am accountable to you, because I can't say one thing on this blog and do another. I can't do one thing and then work in a children's ministry the next day.

To date, I have not backed up much of what I've been saying on this blog with biblical references, because most of the people who read it before were saved and already knew where I got what I'm saying from. I will include references. I'm excited about this journey, and I hope you enjoy it too!


I love you!

Nice Guys Finish First!!!!!!

Life has been good. I went to a game party on Friday, and it was fun. I think I lost my black card, because I don't know how to play Spades =). I left the party early, since I had an exam on Saturday morning. I spent Saturday afternoon with my friend B. He told me that his first impression of me was that I was very antisocial. I'll admit that I can be very reserved, but once people get to know me, they realize that I am talkative and funny. B. now knows that I'm not antisocial. B., thanks for believing in second impressions. It was a good thing that we hung out, because he noticed that I needed new tires. I got them yesterday.

On Sunday I had a good after church talk with M. On Sunday afternoon T. came over and we went for a walk at Lake Johnson, since the weather was so nice. We are both fasting, so we had to take a couple of breaks to recover our energy, but we made it through the course. I am already slim, and I am loosing weight from this fast, so please don't think I'm anorexic when you see me.

We talked about the things we are believing for as we fast. I am believing for my father to be saved, to be in positions that are God's will for my life, to have zero debt, for the well-being of my friends and family, and for the safety and blessings of my future husband and children. T. and I also discussed how thankful we are to have supportive girlfriends. I'm realizing that there are so many females who just can't get along with each other. It's so petty and tragic. I've never been a girl who only wanted to hang with the guys. I need girlfriends.

K. called last night. It was so nice to catch up with her. We've grown so much in these last couple of years and joked on each other about how we used to be and the type of guys we used to date. Seriously K., what were we thinking? What were we smoking? How could we think it was cute to date a man who wants to be uncommitted, sleep with us, and talk to other people when we knew that wasn't what our hearts desired. I'm glad we've moved away from what can I do for him to what can he do for me. The guys we go out with and are attracted to now are so different from the guys we used to like. We've moved away from the arrogant brothers who look great on paper. We are now President and Vice President of team NICE guy!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nice guys have the following qualities: nice, value relationships, peaceful, chivalrous, leadership, and submitted to the word of God. They treat everyone well and seek to do good. They strive to be excellent husbands, fathers, brothers, sons, and lovers. They are leaders in their home and community. They are greatly appreciated by the beautiful women who love them. We're smitten by their heart and have no problems submitting to their authority in a marriage context. They may not always be a perfect ten on the physical level, but there is a physical attraction and their heart makes them drop dead gorgeous.

Nice guys, PLEASE don't change. You are where it's at. It's just that so many young women get caught up with the wrong type of men. They fail to notice you, even though they know in their hearts that they need someone like you. One day they wake up and realize that the guy of their dreams was there all along. They just thought of you as a friend, because the wrong guy had them sprung. Some women are fortunate that it's not too late, and the nice guy is still around. Others will live a good portion of their life in regret for not dating you once they realize the wrong guy never had intentions of marrying them because he had another girlfriend, fiance, was arrogant, or didn't have his life together. Then they see you get into a relationship and provide your wife with all the emotional, spiritual, and financial stability they hoped the wrong guy would give them. Another tragedy is when young women marry the wrong guy because they were sprung and deceived by their hearts. Now they spend the rest of their lives in the marriage from hell.

Although I do attract a better man now that I've matured, some of the wrong guys still try to date me. I am quick to tell them that I'm not interested. My instincts go on red alert when they come my way. My sign says "Only Accepting Applications from Nice Guys." Nice guys, you don't finish last. I know plenty of beautiful sisters who only want nice guys. Keep showing your interest and don't think that all women want a bad boy or thug. The women who want the wrong men are usually immature, so you shouldn't want to be with them anyway. Please stay nice. Know you deserve a woman who appreciates your love and kindness.

Be Encouraged.................

For the first time in my life I finally understand how people who claimed to be so saved fall. I'm NOT talking about the people who left church because their pastor did something shady or because someone in their church hurt them. I'm NOT talking about the people who were raised in church and went for tradition and then stopped going. I mean this is the South, who didn't go to church at one point in their life?

I'm talking about the people who made sure everyone knew they were saved. They were the people who knew and followed the Word, active in their churches, and had no problem worshiping the Lord. They treated everyone well and were always willing to give someone spiritual guidance. Others admired how they could be so "good" in a world full of temptation. They didn't club, drink, or get down with violence of any kind, and always found other ways to have fun. I'm sure you can think of someone like that. However, one day they snapped.

Then you see them doing everything they claimed they wouldn't do because they were saved. They're drunk and crunk acting a fool in the club, sleeping with people the old them would have never thought about being with, stopped going to church, and pretty much seem just a little off or crazy. They are wilder and crazier than that wild person you knew who wasn't claiming to be a person of Lord. What happened to this person?

So as you know I'm fasting and taking more time to grow closer to God. My dear, the closer I am growing to God and accepting God's will for my life, the more evil and temptation comes my way. Last week I battled and had to fight a million times harder than ever to keep my feet on solid ground. On one side of my head I felt victory and saw changes that I new I needed to make. However, the other side of my head was full of reminders of what I used to be and what I was never going to be. Some things that are considered bad were starting to seem appealing. I felt like I was being pulled down to something I didn't want to be. Not knowing what was going on with me I turned to an elder in my church for counsel.

She explained to me that this is quite common in people who are trying to do good and live right. Negative people and the enemy arn't happy with this, so of course they are pulling you down and bringing road blocks into your life. My dear, it seemed like just about everything that could go wrong in a persons life went wrong in mine, and I was starting to become weary, doubtful, and complacent. She recommended that whenever I feel this happening to (1) identify it, (2) go to the Word, and (3) speak life to it. She also prayed for me. I am exceptionally fine.

My dear, I was at the point where either I was going to push further and be encouraged by the Lord or let the enemy get the best of me and fall. I knew the choice that I was going to make. So many saints fall, because they don't know how to push further when this happens. They let the problems and attacks of the enemy get the best of them. They spiral downward on a path to craziness and some never recover. Because of their immoral and crazy actions, they start to feel like they are not worthy to be in a relationship with God again. We know this is NOT true.

My dear, be encouraged and fight to keep your feet on solid ground. Just because you are saved doesn't mean the enemy isn't going to try to get you or that life is going to be a bed of roses. Remember if you and the enemy were not in opposition, he'd have no reason to mess with you. Do what you have to do to keep winning. Seek counsel if you have to. I love you!