This is a Christian blog, so what I am about to say may sound different from what we are used to to hearing on finding, I mean being found by a man, and being in a healthy relationship and marriage. If he is cheating on you or abuses you, then you are not in a healthy relationship. There is no need to make it work if you are not married. The world says that 74% of African American women are single. Single includes women who are dating, but not married. However, the Word says to commit to the Lord in whatever you do, and your plans will succeed (Proverbs 16:3 NIV). It may not happen when or the way we want it to happen, but it will happen when we surrender to Him. I now know that there is a pattern to being found by a man after God’s heart

I fell in love with the Lord and gave Him my everything.

I served others more.

I forgave those who hurt me. God showed me that he wasn't going to bring a good man my way until I proved I could forgive those who hurt me the most, including my father.

I fought to get into my purpose, and took leaps of faith even when it didn't look
like the position was going to come up.

I submitted myself to the authority of Godly women who could provide sound counsel
and show me the ways of the kingdom.

I decided to crucify my my flesh, including the worry, doubt, envy, and fear.

I gave even when I didn't have to give.

I began doing things a woman in a relationship or marriage would have to do, even though I had no one.

I took time to nuture my appearance.

I kept the faith that God would grant all of the desires of my heart.


I will continue to do all of the above things for the rest of my life.
It's only after taking care of these things that the saved man we
hoped for can find us. We would mess it up if he came before then. Ladies, a man who is looking for a wife observes. He watch from afar before he makes his move. We never know who is observing us in hopes of wanting to get to know more about us. What would the men observing us say? I know these things because I've dated in the world and conceded on God's promises. Now I'm in a relationship with someone kingdom minded.