Random Questions:
I've been pondering over the following serious and controversial topics all day =). Maybe you can add some insight. Can a man and woman be just friends? What does "friend" mean when you are talking about a friendship with the opposite sex? Why do some married people feel the need to have opposite sex friends? Why do ex-boyfriends always ask if we can be friends? What is a friend? Why do some people remain friends with their ex, even though they know it drives their significant other crazy?
I realized that I don't have any male friends -meaning a male friend that I talk to on the phone and hang out with in the same manner that I hang out with and talk to my female friends. Sure, I have and had male associates, co-workers, classmates, and there are guys I know and may talk to on the phone every now and then, but I don't think we are exactly friends, just associates. I've also had guys play a big brother role, but I don't think we were friends either; rather they just looked after me.
Men who I thought were my friend ended up liking me as more than a friend, and I've also fallen for men who were my friend. I don't feel as though I need male friends. Is that wrong? I would definitely welcome a guy who was more of a big brother, especially when it comes to helping me discern the guys I date. I do feel that the best romantic relationships are just that because they began as solid friendships. So is it wrong to feel that I'd go out of my way to form a solid friendship with a guy in which we both hope it will advance to another level? On the other hand is it wrong to feel that time is too precious to be forming all these deep male friendships when in the end I know I'll drop them when I get married? I mean I don't think hubby would be cool John Doe calling all the time, unless John Doe was his friend too. Just thinking....
All of this came about because my grandmother is harassing me. The phone conversations usually go like this:
Grandma: So you're going to be 26 soon. I'm so proud of you. You are growing up! Are you dating anyone?
Me: Thanks, I'm proud of you too. No, I'm not dating anyone.
Grandma: There has got to be someone.
Me: No Grandma, there isn't anyone.
Grandma: You can tell me. I know there is someone.
Me: No Grandma, there isn't anyone.
Grandma: I know someone is looking at you. Do you talk to any young fellows? Do you got to any dances? (Who still has dances?).
Me: Not really, I guess most of my friends are women.
Grandma: What you mean you don't have any male friends?
Me: I guess I just don't.
Grandma: Are you interested in boys....I mean do you want male friends.
Me: Yes, grandma. I'm interested in boys. I'm just really working on getting my life together so I can be a better woman, girlfriend, and wife. I'm really making sure I'm straight with God and in His purpose for my life.
Grandma: How long is that going to take? Are there any nice boys at your church? Do me a favor, just find a male friend.
Seriously people. Just pray that my grandmother calms down =).
Love ya,
Z
3 comments:
hahahahahaha....
That is funny. I think it's definately possible to have friends of the opposite sex though. I have a couple female friends that I talk to on the regular--and they are actually just friends.
HOWEVER... More often than not, I too have been a victim of having female friends who wanted more than friendship. It always seems like that's going to happen on one side.
Even though it's possible, it's rare.
I think it's possible to have male friends. It's just harder at this age to develop those friendships because there is such a push to find someone and get married. Most of my male friendships developed in college because that environment was just better for making random friends. Now any man you approach thinks you want to sleep with him.
Your grandmother isn't talkin about that type of friend anyway. Her main goal is to get you dating and married. Just be prepared. It's only going to get worse, not better. The older you get, the more anxious they get. You just have to ignore it.
I have male friends but like Saun said I haven't made one in a while. I think it's perfectly fine to have male friends and your future hubby should be secure enough to accept that. One should also not do anything to make their man insecure about the relationship.
For example, my closest male friend would actually kick it with Brent when I was in Carolina. My ex used to hate when I visited this same friend because he was insecure and visiting this friend on Vday probably didn't help either, lol. It's all about how you setup the situation and if you are truly just friends then there shouldn't be an issue.
I think it's important to have all types of friends because they can each play a different role and have different perspectives.
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