I Think I'm in Love..............

It’s Super bowl Sunday, and I am excited. Will Peyton Manning finally get a championship ring? We shall see.

Life has been going well. I feel like I've been a busy body these last couple of weeks, but things are well. Last Saturday I enjoyed brunch with my some of my girls. Next week we are going to the State of the Black Union. I feel like I am growing so much closer to my friend M. We are both active in the same church, took classes on the Holy Spirit, and we are fasting together. I have learned so much from talking to her. I appreciate her support, and she is such a lovely and fun person. I feel like God is taking our friendship to a new level.

My fast will be over next weekend. Right now we are on water, fruits, veggies, and baked chicken and fish. The first time I had salmon since I started the fast I got sick. My body wasn't used to it. I feel stronger spiritually and physically. My body feels so clean, and my spirit feels so pure. I've seen signs that the things I am fasting for will come in due time. I plan to continue eating healthier after the fast. During this fast I also decided to abstain from secular music.

I took a test on the gifts of the Holy Spirit, and I scored high on possessing the gift of Faith. As I prayed Thursday night I asked God why so many things in my life are difficult. I usually get what I want in the end, but getting to the goal is ALWAYS full of twists and turns. He revealed to me that he is stretching my Faith!!! He also revealed that I would have a great testimony about how I believed and RECEIVED the things I couldn't physically see at the time. Even if others told me I'd never get those things, I still kept the faith. I thanked the Lord for what he is doing in me. I thanked him for the life, health, wealth, husband, and children that I asked for. I've been standing on Jeremiah 29:11, which states For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Isn't that Scripture powerful? It makes my heart jump!

Okay, so how does my faith relate to me thinking that I'm in love. Please don't think I'm some spooky- deep person, but although I don't know who my husband will be, I am in love with God's promise of what he will be. While many of my peers and people are getting ready for Valentine's Day, I am getting more intimate with and falling more in love with God. Through this intimacy He is showing me that type of man my husband will be, and I think I’m already in love with this man.

Now my girlfriends joke on me because when someone asks me what I want in a man, I usually put my hand on my heart and raise the other hand, get flustered, look up, smile, and blush. Describing this man takes my breath away. It is kind of funny. I guess I just get excited. They say that since I speak so highly of this man that everyone is waiting to see who he will be. It's also been a long time since I've dated anyone, and I've been holding out from physical relations, so I think people want to see who the man I'm holding out for will be. I stopped dating just to date. If I know I don't like a guy, I don't want to spend time with him out of boredom or just to have company.


I asked God to make me his Ester, Sarah, and Ruth. He is slowly molding me. When I prayed for my husband, I asked the Lord to make him the King Xerxes, Abraham, and Boaz that I need him to be. The leader, protector, provider, and lover that I need.

I think I’m in Love with…………

The man who understands that sex is designed for marriage, so he isn't even trying to go there with me. He respects my celibacy. Even during my weak times (I’m not a virgin), he remains strong. The man who says we have to go our separate ways for the night, because it's getting to late, and he doesn't want to put us in a potentially frustrating situation. The man who doesn't want to jeopardize my reputation, so he doesn't even want to do anything that resembles shacking up or spending the night. He's trying to bring others closer to Christ, so he is very careful about his actions. While we abstain from sex before marriage, we both make sure it is a TOP priority in our marriage =). Unfortunately, many couples in this world make sex a priority before marriage, but after the vows they are rarely intimate. I know the devil cracks up at that one. It is pretty sad.

The man who is a provider and priest over his home. Worldly men have described women who want their husband to have a decent job and to be a provider as a gold-digger. This is not always the case. I feel that he doesn't have to be a "baller," but he does the best he can with his income, even if it is not much. It would be great if I didn't have to work the traditional 8.5 hour day while our children were young, but I’m definitely okay if I have to work. Also, ideally my husband as a provider should upgrade, not downgrade my financial situation. I shouldn't be more hungry with him than I was without him. This man is submitted to God and sets the spiritual tone for his household. None of this mom and children go to church while daddy stays home and sleeps mess. Then our children get older and think they don’t have to praise God in church because daddy doesn’t. I'm tired of hearing about these churches that are 90% women and children!!!

The man who I love on, am submitted to (husband), and who gets my heart in a way that no one has had it. The man who knows things about me that no one knows. The person whose leadership I can follow, because I can trust his relationship with God. We don't hurt each other, because we don't want to hurt God.

The man who may be attracted to other women (let's just be real), but he is able to control his flesh. He doesn't let what he sees turn into fantasies that become actions. He is faithful and accountable.

The man (me too!) who works hard to get us through the tough times in our marriage.

The man who when people see us think, “Wow, he's saved, fine, and has a good job. Where did she get him?” LOL!! They will also wonder how he got me. LOL!

There are some other qualities that I've asked for in my husband, but I'm going to keep them a secret for now. Although I am in love with this man and excited about the day we cross paths, I want you to know that I am enjoying my season of singleness. I don't feel lonely or the need to rush things. I'm only 25. I don't feel like my biological clock is ticking. I am complete in the Lord. There are things in my life that God is completing and changing before he sends my husband.

While I'm not dating, and there isn't anyone in my life who I remotely think could be my future husband, I have FAITH that he is coming and that he is going to be great. Our union will be blessed! Because I have FAITH that it is already done, I can do what I need to do without trying to place myself in situations to meet a man or any other unnecessary plotting and scheming. I just need to be the best person I can be for me and God. It's already done!!!

Some things for us to think about…………

During a discussion last night my mentor asked some of us if we would be willing to cook seven days a week if our husbands wanted us to. She described this man as being an awesome person and lover and a solid provider. She also said he does not eat leftovers. Some said yes, but others said they would not have the energy to do that and fulfilling that request is unrealistic in modern times.

Ladies, would you submit to that request?
My answer: Yes, but I would ask if we could have a date night and go out to eat once a week.

Gentlemen: What is the difference between a gold-digger and a traditional woman who likes the idea of her husband being the breadwinner?

According to 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. Is this the way you show love?


BTW--Thank you so much for taking the time to read this blog. I love you, and I keep the readers of this blog in my prayers.