That Thing..................

Think about that thing you do that you know you're not supposed to do, but you do it anyway. Think about that thing that you know you need to do, but you just can't get around to doing it. You know that if you could just stop doing that thing or start doing that thing that you would reap so many blessings, but you just choose not to do it. Every time you do it or fail to do it, you feel a conviction in your heart. You do this thing even though after the fact you wish you wouldn't do it anymore. Sometimes you don't even know why you do it. Or you know you need to do this thing and you don't even know why you can't get started.

Many of us know that we need to stop telling lies, cheating, cursing, gossiping, idolizing money and celebrities, smoking, being a hypocrite, drinking, fornicating, overeating, disrespecting others, overspending, cohabitating, thinking that we're too good, and the list goes on, but we still do it anyway. Many of us know that we need to start sharing, tithing, worshiping God, serving, turning off the televisions and reading, exercising, investing, reading the Word of God, living right, getting our minds right, getting our families right, and educating ourselves, but we fail to make moves in those areas. Sometimes other people tell us we need to do X, Y, Z in order to live our best life ever and walk victoriously, but more often than not God tells us. We just ignore Him, and live our lives without true peace. Claiming we enjoy premarital sex, but then having the baby what would you do if I got pregnant talk with our boyfriends is not peace. Constantly telling lies to make ourselves look better, and then not remembering who we told what lie to is not peace.

My dear, if we just humble ourselves before the Lord and be obedient to His Word, we will be blessed in ways we couldn't even imagine. I don't have the perfect life, and it may seem that so many people in the world have more than me, but I can honestly say that I am reaping the harvest from my obedience to God. Everyday something is revealed to me. I've been blessed everyday since I did the thing God asked me to do. Now of course the more blessing, the more devil, but I'm at a place where I can recognize his attacks and get into Word.

Please read the following scripture carefully. It will change your life, or at least convict us about something we need to do or stop doing..........

Deuteronomy 28

Blessings for Obedience
1 If you fully obey the LORD your God and carefully follow all his commands I give you today, the LORD your God will set you high above all the nations on earth. 2 All these blessings will come upon you and accompany you if you obey the LORD your God:
3 You will be blessed in the city and blessed in the country.
4 The fruit of your womb will be blessed, and the crops of your land and the young of your livestock—the calves of your herds and the lambs of your flocks.
5 Your basket and your kneading trough will be blessed.
6 You will be blessed when you come in and blessed when you go out.
7 The LORD will grant that the enemies who rise up against you will be defeated before you. They will come at you from one direction but flee from you in seven.
8 The LORD will send a blessing on your barns and on everything you put your hand to. The LORD your God will bless you in the land he is giving you.
9 The LORD will establish you as his holy people, as he promised you on oath, if you keep the commands of the LORD your God and walk in his ways. 10 Then all the peoples on earth will see that you are called by the name of the LORD, and they will fear you. 11 The LORD will grant you abundant prosperity—in the fruit of your womb, the young of your livestock and the crops of your ground—in the land he swore to your forefathers to give you.
12 The LORD will open the heavens, the storehouse of his bounty, to send rain on your land in season and to bless all the work of your hands. You will lend to many nations but will borrow from none. 13 The LORD will make you the head, not the tail. If you pay attention to the commands of the LORD your God that I give you this day and carefully follow them, you will always be at the top, never at the bottom. 14 Do not turn aside from any of the commands I give you today, to the right or to the left, following other gods and serving them.

Sometimes we do the things we know we are not supposed to do and wonder why we are not blessed and don't have peace. It's really simple; just follow the Word. We must ask ourselves if doing that thing or not doing that thing would break God's heart. Please allow Him to use you and transform you.

Curses for Disobedience
15 However, if you do not obey the LORD your God and do not carefully follow all his commands and decrees I am giving you today, all these curses will come upon you and overtake you:
16 You will be cursed in the city and cursed in the country.
17 Your basket and your kneading trough will be cursed.
18 The fruit of your womb will be cursed, and the crops of your land, and the calves of your herds and the lambs of your flocks.
19 You will be cursed when you come in and cursed when you go out.
20 The LORD will send on you curses, confusion and rebuke in everything you put your hand to, until you are destroyed and come to sudden ruin because of the evil you have done in forsaking him. [a] 21 The LORD will plague you with diseases until he has destroyed you from the land you are entering to possess. 22 The LORD will strike you with wasting disease, with fever and inflammation, with scorching heat and drought, with blight and mildew, which will plague you until you perish. 23 The sky over your head will be bronze, the ground beneath you iron. 24 The LORD will turn the rain of your country into dust and powder; it will come down from the skies until you are destroyed.
25 The LORD will cause you to be defeated before your enemies. You will come at them from one direction but flee from them in seven, and you will become a thing of horror to all the kingdoms on earth. 26 Your carcasses will be food for all the birds of the air and the beasts of the earth, and there will be no one to frighten them away. 27 The LORD will afflict you with the boils of Egypt and with tumors, festering sores and the itch, from which you cannot be cured. 28 The LORD will afflict you with madness, blindness and confusion of mind. 29 At midday you will grope about like a blind man in the dark. You will be unsuccessful in everything you do; day after day you will be oppressed and robbed, with no one to rescue you.
30 You will be pledged to be married to a woman, but another will take her and ravish her. You will build a house, but you will not live in it. You will plant a vineyard, but you will not even begin to enjoy its fruit. 31 Your ox will be slaughtered before your eyes, but you will eat none of it. Your donkey will be forcibly taken from you and will not be returned. Your sheep will be given to your enemies, and no one will rescue them. 32 Your sons and daughters will be given to another nation, and you will wear out your eyes watching for them day after day, powerless to lift a hand. 33 A people that you do not know will eat what your land and labor produce, and you will have nothing but cruel oppression all your days. 34 The sights you see will drive you mad. 35 The LORD will afflict your knees and legs with painful boils that cannot be cured, spreading from the soles of your feet to the top of your head.
36 The LORD will drive you and the king you set over you to a nation unknown to you or your fathers. There you will worship other gods, gods of wood and stone. 37 You will become a thing of horror and an object of scorn and ridicule to all the nations where the LORD will drive you.
38 You will sow much seed in the field but you will harvest little, because locusts will devour it. 39 You will plant vineyards and cultivate them but you will not drink the wine or gather the grapes, because worms will eat them. 40 You will have olive trees throughout your country but you will not use the oil, because the olives will drop off. 41 You will have sons and daughters but you will not keep them, because they will go into captivity. 42 Swarms of locusts will take over all your trees and the crops of your land.
43 The alien who lives among you will rise above you higher and higher, but you will sink lower and lower. 44 He will lend to you, but you will not lend to him. He will be the head, but you will be the tail.
45 All these curses will come upon you. They will pursue you and overtake you until you are destroyed, because you did not obey the LORD your God and observe the commands and decrees he gave you. 46 They will be a sign and a wonder to you and your descendants forever. 47 Because you did not serve the LORD your God joyfully and gladly in the time of prosperity, 48 therefore in hunger and thirst, in nakedness and dire poverty, you will serve the enemies the LORD sends against you. He will put an iron yoke on your neck until he has destroyed you.
49 The LORD will bring a nation against you from far away, from the ends of the earth, like an eagle swooping down, a nation whose language you will not understand, 50 a fierce-looking nation without respect for the old or pity for the young. 51 They will devour the young of your livestock and the crops of your land until you are destroyed. They will leave you no grain, new wine or oil, nor any calves of your herds or lambs of your flocks until you are ruined. 52 They will lay siege to all the cities throughout your land until the high fortified walls in which you trust fall down. They will besiege all the cities throughout the land the LORD your God is giving you.
53 Because of the suffering that your enemy will inflict on you during the siege, you will eat the fruit of the womb, the flesh of the sons and daughters the LORD your God has given you. 54 Even the most gentle and sensitive man among you will have no compassion on his own brother or the wife he loves or his surviving children, 55 and he will not give to one of them any of the flesh of his children that he is eating. It will be all he has left because of the suffering your enemy will inflict on you during the siege of all your cities. 56 The most gentle and sensitive woman among you—so sensitive and gentle that she would not venture to touch the ground with the sole of her foot—will begrudge the husband she loves and her own son or daughter 57 the afterbirth from her womb and the children she bears. For she intends to eat them secretly during the siege and in the distress that your enemy will inflict on you in your cities.
58 If you do not carefully follow all the words of this law, which are written in this book, and do not revere this glorious and awesome name—the LORD your God- 59 the LORD will send fearful plagues on you and your descendants, harsh and prolonged disasters, and severe and lingering illnesses. 60 He will bring upon you all the diseases of Egypt that you dreaded, and they will cling to you. 61 The LORD will also bring on you every kind of sickness and disaster not recorded in this Book of the Law, until you are destroyed. 62 You who were as numerous as the stars in the sky will be left but few in number, because you did not obey the LORD your God. 63 Just as it pleased the LORD to make you prosper and increase in number, so it will please him to ruin and destroy you. You will be uprooted from the land you are entering to possess.
64 Then the LORD will scatter you among all nations, from one end of the earth to the other. There you will worship other gods—gods of wood and stone, which neither you nor your fathers have known. 65 Among those nations you will find no repose, no resting place for the sole of your foot. There the LORD will give you an anxious mind, eyes weary with longing, and a despairing heart. 66 You will live in constant suspense, filled with dread both night and day, never sure of your life. 67 In the morning you will say, "If only it were evening!" and in the evening, "If only it were morning!"-because of the terror that will fill your hearts and the sights that your eyes will see. 68 The LORD will send you back in ships to Egypt on a journey I said you should never make again. There you will offer yourselves for sale to your enemies as male and female slaves, but no one will buy you.

Enough Said!!!

I love you so much!

Put On Your Big Girl Panties..........

The First Lady of my church uses this line, and I love it. Instead of complaining, doing immature or little girl things, or fearing the unknown, sometimes we just need to put on our big girl panties (or big boy briefs) and get the job done and move forward. I was struggling these last couple of days. On Thursday I had a wisdom tooth removed. I was put to sleep, so I just remember waking up at home and feeling good. I was fine on Thursday and Friday, even got my hair done, went out to a social event, and out to dinner (soft food). Maybe I just still had an abundance of drugs in me. However, on Saturday the pain along side effects from the medication threw me off. I was a mess and trying to continue on with my plans and be cute like nothing was wrong. I suppose I thought I was invincible. I had experienced major surgery and pain from being in a car accident, so I thought that nothing could ever get me down or physically hurt me in comparison to that experience, especially not a little wisdom tooth extraction.

Today, I am still a mess from Thursday's procedure. Maybe the oral surgeon didn't tell the whole truth when he said I'd be fine in 48 hours. My mouth hurts, my head hurts, and my stomach gets upset from the pain medication. I went to work, but I was not productive. I got things to do this week, so this small drama can't have the best of me. I am getting baptized tomorrow. I was baptized as a child, but that was before I was mature enough to understand my commitment to Christ. It was not personal; rather it was just ritual and tradition. Now baptism is personal. It is my act of obedience, public testimony, and spiritual truth of death, resurrection, and cleansing. I am sooo excited. I have to stay focused. I'm about move to another level in my walk with Christ and here I am letting a wisdom tooth extraction distract me. Whatever!! I just have to put on my big girl panties and get this move done!

Reflections and Perceptions...........

I decided to write the adjectives and phrases that others have used to describe me throughout my life. Some are positive, but others are negative. You will even notice opposites. I don't mind if you laugh as you are reading them =)....

calm, quiet, talkative, shy, outspoken, well-spoken, reserved, rigid, funny, friendly, nice, sweet, kind, judgemental, materialistic, frugal, polite, people pleaser, sexy, doesn't know she's sexy, needs to own her sexiness, down to earth, uppity, pretty, beautiful, ugly, a flosser, fine, well-dressed, boring, hot and haute, in need of a make-over, you don't need any make-up, why don't you wear more make-up, mean, gorgeous, sensual, bougie, proper, improper, gangsta, weird, nigger, oreo, white girl, left-handed (as in that explains all of her shortcomings and anything different about her), worrier, neat, clean, dirty, confident, bastard, weak, classy, different, nice skin, ugly skin, religious, spiritual, a blessing, honest, shady, controlling, submissive, focused, unfocused, open, a stubborn Taurus, won't let anyone close, pretty and bouncy hair, nappy hair, smart, intelligent, miss manners, air headed, dumb, street smart, common sense, lack of common sense, arrogant, conscious of others, stuck on herself, she won't date you unless you make over $60,000 (This is not true. Seriously, if I was going to choose an income level, it would be much higher than that =)), you'll never be good enough, you're better than the rest, wife material, she has alot going for herself and she doesn't have a man so she must be crazy, proud, ashamed, embarrassed, appreciative, unappreciative, focuses on the future, holds on to the past, forgiving, broke, determined to rise above her circumstances, doesn't work hard enough, ignorant, thinks too highly of herself, poor, broken, rich, blessed, loves, loved, .................

Thank you if you actually took the time to read all of them!!

It is true that I have to be careful about how others perceive me. I know that first impressions are often last impressions and that people see me before they hear me. I am also aware that so many people are turned off to God, religion, and spirituality, not because of something God did to them, but because of the way they were treated by people who claimed to men and women of God. Last night my pastor discussed how we cannot claim to love God and then mistreat others. How can we spend Sunday morning praising God and then go to brunch and be rude to the waiter or waitress? People do it all the time, and we wonder why the world thinks we're crazy.

However, I'm talking about a different level of perception, which is dwelling on negativity or what we don't have in comparison to others. If we care too much about the negative things people have to say about us, we will miss a move of God in our lives, because when that move comes, we will feel like we don't deserve it. We will feel like we are not worth receiving that thing God promised us.

We know that God made us in his image and likeness. We know that the Holy Spirit dwells in us. We know that we that through Jesus we are washed clean and have ABUNDANT life here on Earth. Given that we know these things, why is it easier for some people to complain and accept negativity than to speak life? Why do we tone down our blessings, as if we are afraid to outshine others? Why are there people who still can't receive a compliment? Why do people doubt their abilities?

What if I only believed in the negative things on that list. What if I only believed that I was ugly, shy, a nigger, judgmental, dumb, broke, weird, that something is wrong with left handed people, that my destiny is tied to my zodiac sign, that I will never be as good as others, or that I was stuck in the past? Seriously, what would happen?
We don't have to be geniuses to figure it out...........

1. I wouldn't see the point in reaching career goals or leading.
2. I wouldn't see the point in investing
3. I wouldn't see the point in taking care of my appearance
4. I'd probably date any man that smiled at me,and I wouldn't think I was worth a good man
5. I wouldn't believe it when people told me I was pretty
6. I would think that others are better than me
7. I would probably be a hater
8. I would miss out on opportunities
   
9. I would probably put all my junk and negativity on my children, family, and friends

The list goes on and on, but I think you get my point.

On the other hand, If we believe in the good things people say about us and God's promises to us, our destiny is nothing less than phenomenal. Our standards will not be compromised. Even when we are in our darkest hour, we will be able to see that thing we are hoping for and believe that it is going to happen. Sure, others will doubt you, but you know what's up!

My dear, it is soooooo easy to focus on the negative. We've all heard the saying that you can't keep a blessed woman down or you can't keep a blessed man down. Don't you know that they enemy also knows that. He's smart and has found all types of ways to creep into your minds to keep you focused on the negative. The devil knows that faith and speaking life are key ingredients to turning negative situations around and to reach your goals. What better way to block you then to keep you focused on the negative. My dear, today I want you to shake off any negative thoughts. I want to shake off the negative adjectives others put on you. I want you to shake off the negative adjectives that you put on yourself. The Buts, I can't, I don't know, this is hard, and the Impossibles are gone. It's time time to only think with thoughts of faith.

I'm going to use myself as an example again, but I want you to replace my thoughts of faith with yours: I know people probably think I'm crazy for saying I'm going to be extremely wealthy, especially after they look at my current bank statement, humble possessions, and knowing that I want to work with youth. I know people probably think I'm crazy for saying that I'm going to be this or that, especially when they look at my current situation. My dear, I'll miss my blessing if I focus on the negative and doubts of others. I can't afford to do that and neither can you. Let them keep laughing. Let them keep doubting. One day their doubts will be silenced by your blessing, and I can't wait for you to tell us all about it!

I love you so much!

Unfortunately, many people see you before they hear you. Who says Christian women are supposed to look frumpy?!? Many of the women in the bible received beauty treatments and advice on how to present themselves. These women were beautiful on the inside and outside. This site has good fashion and life advice and a book list.
http://www.guccigodivagod.blogspot.com

Judging Others ( From Matthew 7)

1"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

3"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye. [ In other words, how can you correct others when you aren't acting in a correct manner].

6"Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces. [When I read this verse I always think about people who give their hearts and bodies to people who don't deserve them. Someone on another blog mentioned that what's worse than no good or underachieving people are the people who date underachievers.

This is one of my favorite verses. It keeps me grounded, and reminds me of the things I need to work on. It is true, that once you become saved [for real] that you are brand new [transformed], and many of the negative things that you used to understand, just don't make sense to you. For example, I don't understand anymore how people can fight over "territory" or have a bad attitude everyday. I don't understand how people can stay in a relationship with someone who brings them down. I don't understand how people can be married and basically be roommates. I don't even understand the things I used to do!! However, I have to be careful not to call someone out on their weaknesses, when I do the same things. While the Word may not agree with a person's life style, I can not say that God doesn't love that person. We still need to use discernment. I wouldn't want you to let someone waving a gun in the air in your home, because you didn't want to judge them as someone who had bad intentions.

We hear people say things like...........

"She's loose..., but I can count all the guys I've been with on one hand, and I'm only sleeping with my boyfriend or so and so right now."
[What's the difference? How can one person think she is better than the other]

"How can you spend the night at X's house? I mean me and my boo spend the night every night, but we just lay in the bed and watch TV."

"B cheated on his girlfriend with C., but although I slept with C, I didn't cheat, because it wasn't emotional." [Is he serious]

"How can she date X. He is no good. I know my man isn't all that, but he makes sure that I am number one. He may have a few girls on the side, but I'm wifey."
[I still know grown women who talk like this].

"I don't trust so and so or this organization, because they just want my money." [However this person feels like this because he or she uses people for their money].

Clergy and religious people who shun others for the same things they are doing. [The divorce rate in the church and world are similar].

Parents who punish their children for cursing or fighting, but they can't stop doing those things.

Politicians making sure poor [and black] men are sentenced for crack, while they snort cocaine.

Retailers who arrest shoplifters, while managers at the top of the retail industry are embezzling.

"How can so and so eat like that... I take good care of my body." [But this person smokes and drinks too much]

The list goes on and on.

"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

This is a Word for me!

Today, I declare that I love those who judge me. I love them even though I do not know them. Today I declare that I will not judge others. I know that I can't correct others when I am doing the very thing I accuse them of doing. I'm going to first take all of the planks out of my eyes, and so I can help my brothers and sisters remove the specs from their eyes. Girls, help me on this one.... I am going to stop referring to some of the guys who approach me with weak game [the bow down to me because I have multiple degrees, no children, and never been to jail type of guys] as losers, lame, corny, and wack. I will just say we are not compatible instead of using harsh adjectives. Also, I know there are things that others would perceive as lame about me. I want people to be confident, so I will always be confident. I want people to be classy and dignified, so I will do everything with class and dignity (well just about everything, sometimes you have to let it go and get down and dirty), I want people to be leaders, so I will be a leader. I want others to know when to submit, so I will submit. I don't want anyone around me to worry, so I will not worry. Yes, there will be no more panic attacks (i.e., two weekends ago when I was out of town and my checking account was funny). Sorry about that gals and thanks for calming me down =).

I've told you all the type of guys I will date and how I will date, so you will not see me with someone who doesn't treat me well, no matter how fine he is. [On a side note. I have to stop getting giddy when I see a nice looking man. I don't know..... a handsome man in a power suit and cufflinks just brings out the little girl in me. And don't let him be nice and love the Lord for real.... I might even blush (I don't approach men, just watch)].

I can speak on the blessings of following the Word, because I fight to live it. I will keep praising and worshiping God in BOTH in a church and at home. I will keep tithing, so you can see the blessing in tithing. I will be honest about my weaknesses, and confess to you when I fail. I just want you to experience the love I have for Christ. I don't want to be the person who blocks you from wanting to know Him. If I don't do something, it's because I know in my heart it's not God's plan for my life. I will keep speaking life. I want you to love, so I will love. I love you!!!

We Strut, We Strut, We Strut, We Strut...................

Last weekend I went back to my Home by the Sea for my sorority chapter's 60th Anniversary celebration. I had a wonderful time. I will never forget the women this picture. They called themselves the Golden Girls, and they pledged in 1954. They were so fabulous. They weren't complaining about aches and pains or being tired. They arrived in minks, leather suits, stilettos, Fendi bags, and "stunna shades." These women were bad. They had the education and wealth to back up the bling. Their inner beauty and happy spirit were evident. I want to feel that good when I am in my 70s. Tina Turner better watch out =)!

Make It Personal...

So many times we are told to pray, but many of us don’t know how to pray. I confess, I didn’t really know how to pray until last year. I was praying, but I wasn’t really praying, if you get what I mean. I feel blessed to be in a church that stresses growth and intimacy with God. I pray using the Lord’s Prayer (Matthew 6:9–15). Prayer is on my mind today because I was technically on the verge of having bad day, but I didn’t let it become a bad day. Prayer is also on my mind because the something that I asked for was given to me, and I am sooo thankful and happy. I’ll show you how I pray………

Our Father in heaven, hallowed by your name
Exalt his name. Tell him how much you love him. Tell him what he means to you. Lord I love you. You are awesome. I praise you. I worship you. You are all that. You are magnificent. I will not put anything above your name. Hallelujah to your name. Thank you for being my father, my king, my leader, my savior, my healer, my provider, my redeemer, my banker, my name changer, my friend, my protector, my everything (I can go on and on, and some days he means different things to me)……………

Your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven
Lord, I know I’ve asked you for many things, but only give me the things that are in your will for my life. I am submitted to your will for my life, and if it isn’t you then I don’t want it. Help me to see your way. Here I’ll pray about decisions I need to make.

Give us today our daily bread
Lord, you know the desires of my heart. Ask him for the things you need. Thank him for the things you’ve asked for even if you can’t see them now. Right now (at this minute) I need the following: Lord, stretch my patience. Help me to manage my time. I am starting to feel overwhelmed, but I need you to bring order to my weekly schedule. I’ve asked that you make me great, and I know that the time commitments that I’m struggling to make are NOTHING compared to the work you have for me. I mean seriously Z., this is nothing compared to your life as a First Lady of a nation, state, church, or business [those of you who know me, get this joke]. This is nothing compared to being a leader of a charitable organization or school. This is nothing to being a wife and mother. This is nothing compared to what’s coming……so girl, get it together.

I pray for the specific needs of my family, friends, acquaintances, coworkers, church members, church leaders, and people struggling with poverty, abuse, addiction, and/or violence. I pray for the marriages and relationships of my friends. I pray for the safety of my husband and children, even though I don’t know them yet. I thank God for the good health, home, wealth, family, job, life, and saved family members that I asked for. I thank him for making me his princess. I am royalty. Just thank him for those things instead of asking him over and over for them. I also ask him for my specific needs. I thank him for the small things he does for me on a daily basis (waking me up, my car, having food, a bed, etc.).

Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors
Ask for forgiveness for your sins and make sure that you forgive. I ask God to forgive me for the times I failed to keep my word, including the times I paid a bill late. I ask him to forgive me for my thoughts and actions that weren’t godly…the times I talked about other people...the times I worried..times I complained. I forgive those who hurt me, and I ask that I never hold unforgiveness. I ask that I don’t judge others and that others do not judge me. Sometimes people feel that Christians are judgmental. However, I find myself being judged more by others for being a Christian than for my actions that weren’t good. Being a Christian isn’t easy. Many people don’t have nice things to say about Christians, and I can definitely understand their reasons, but why be the judgmental person you accuse Christians of being?

Many of my friendships have become very awkward. I try to reach out, but I guess they don’t feel as though they can hang with me because they fear I’ll judge them even though I don’t. I still love through the awkwardness. At this minute I am asking God to help me get through these changes.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one
Temptation, temptation, temptation………….I pray for my areas of weakness and ask for strength to overcome them. I ask God to deliver me from the things that have me bound. I thank him for breaking bad habits. I also ask that he delivers my family, friends, and community from things that have them bound.

For yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.
Lord, it all belongs to you. I belong to you. I will serve you. What can I do for you? Your name reigns supreme. Your word is true.

In Jesus' name we pray! Amen

Please Read This Blog on Fathers and Sexual Attitudes on Intellegentignorance

http://intellegentignorance.blogspot.com

What do you think? Why is Sex just Sex to some people? I can admit that because of "technology" I didn't think too much about the consequences of sex when I was out in the world. My life would have been "different" if I got pregnant by my ex. The woman I am today would never want a man like that to be the father of my children. What was I thinking?!? How could I give my precious body away? Thank God for growth and for saving me!!!

Happy Valentine's Day..........

May your love be the kind of love that is patient, kind, does not envy, does not boast, and is not proud. The kind of love that is not rude, self-seeking, easily angered, and keeps no record of wrongs. The kind of love that does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. A love that always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. Have a Happy Valentine's Day!

Love,

Z

The State of The Black Union and Other Stuff................

The State of the Black Union was held at Hampton University, my alma mater, and I had the pleasure of being able to attend. I'm still taking it all in, and I may post again. Let's just say that I feel even more motivated to be of service to all mankind. The dialogue between the panelists was great.

I feel that the media often portray Al Sharpton as a loud mouth who is always ready to start trouble, and I can admit that many times I would get tired of listening to him speak. HOWEVER, after seeing him in person and listening to his perspectives on Obama's run for president, areas of our past that we need to leave behind, race relations, classism in the black community, and leadership among our youth, I enjoy listening to him and appreciate his zeal for the people. I appreciate anyone who isn't afraid to make others uncomfortable in the pursuit of equality. I'm sure many of you watched it on C-Span, so I don't need to go into detail about all of the panelists.
One thing that stuck with me was the notion of being DIGNIFIED. I thought about ways I could be more dignified. Do I downplay my dignity in order to not make others feel less than?

As many of you know I want to teach special ed. (emotional and behavioral disorders) as soon as possible. Most of these children aren't bad. They just need someone who actually cares to empower them. I know there will be tough days, and I am alright with that. Unfortunately, many of the students in special education classes are mislabeled African American youth. Last night I thought about my future students. I pondered over ways to give them a sense of dignity. I brainstormed tactics I need to use in order to make African American history real to them. How could I get them to see that they are more than what others tell them they are, and that they are more than what they see. How could I show them the things that they can't see right now....like if they just press forward and hold on they'll get over this mountain. How could I do all of this with while sticking to a rigid school district or state curriculum? I planned to teach in a "safe" school district. Maybe I need to teach in Newark, New Orleans, or Houston....places that are in need of teachers who can teach and who actually care about the well-being of students traumatized by natural disaster. Teachers who actually care about the well-being of students who act out by trying to control other students and teachers with threats and violence simply because on inside they feel out of control due to what's going on in their violent environment. I don't know.......... But I do know that I have great work to do................... Want to join me?

The comments that I get from people when I tell them that yeah I work here, but I really want to teach are crazy......

Oh, you must really be looking for a rich husband

Why, I mean Why?

Just a teacher?

After a long pause while trying to figure out why....Umm, I think you'll make a great teacher

Are you sure?

How much do they make now?

Kids are bad. Are you sure?

So I mean, I bet you are looking for a rich husband

You're too nice and soft to deal with those type of kids {one day people will stop mistaking grace for weakness and understand the true definition of an effective leader}

You are going to need a rich husband!

You are going to need a rich husband!!

You are going to need a rich husband!!!

This just in.....some of the freakiest women are church girls who are teachers, and I have friends who have been with them.... they act one way and do another and no one really knows. [I wondered why that conversation with his friend was the first thing that came to his mind when I said I wanted to teach. I told the people that I lead by example. People who aren't living according to the word of God are ineffective in bringing others to Christ. I'm not going out like that. I won't give you the joy of calling me a hypocrite. You can't have it. The games were over once I gave my life to God, and I am reaping so many blessings, including peace. Just because people go to church does not mean they are moral or are submitted to God. In many cases it just means they are "churchy" ].

I guess you just have to love people, even when they think like this. What cracks me up even more is that some of the people who make these comments earn the same salary as a first year public school teacher. They are just able to mask it under their job title. There are others who make these comments, but they hate their jobs. I've also been blessed to receive TONS of love, encouragement, and prayer that I am in my purpose. Thank you!!!

My response to these crazy questions and comments is derived from the rules of the little red rubber ball.....

We all have a big bouncy neon ball in our life. I like to think if it as a big bouncy neon ball rather than a little red rubber ball. Big, because I only think in terms of greatness. Bouncy, because it will take me from one domain to the next. Neon, because it signifies brightness.

My dear, think back to being in K-mart or a toy store when you were little and seeing the cage full of those huge neon balls. Do they even make them anymore? Our ball is the thing that we do that doesn't feel like work, because we love it so much. It's also the thing that we would loose sleep over and work extra hours for because we are so passionate about it. That ball bounces us into different domains, with each domain being greater than the last. Success isn't an option when we stick to our big bouncy neon ball. My ball (purpose) is youth. I will be happy and great, as long as I focus on educating and motivating youth. During one season of my life I may teach, followed by a season of administration. During the next season I may bounce into motivational speaking. After that I may bounce into establishing a leadership program or even a school of greatness for youth who others gave up on. Later, I may bounce into child advocacy. I may even bounce into motivating and encouraging parents. My dear, I will be happy as long as I center my career aspirations on youth. I'm not concerned about money, because I know I'll be just fine. Although to others things in my life may look bleak, I can see where I'm going to be (faith) and that is one of the greatest feelings!!! Lord, I thank you for the things you've already done.

Let your purpose bounce you into GREATNESS!!!

I love you!!

Interesting read on intellegentignorance about Pastors
http://intellegentignorance.blogspot.com

What a great game! I loved how when Tony Dungy was asked how it felt to be the first African American coach to win the Super Bowl he said he feels even more proud to be a man of God winning this game. He also talked about his faith in the Lord despite the culture of the sports industry. The reporters commented about how the actions (Godly) of Dungy and Smith are unlike the actions of other coaches. For example, they don't curse at or belittle people or players, and they still get results. These men are respected leaders. Dungy and Smtih, I am proud of you!

I Think I'm in Love..............

It’s Super bowl Sunday, and I am excited. Will Peyton Manning finally get a championship ring? We shall see.

Life has been going well. I feel like I've been a busy body these last couple of weeks, but things are well. Last Saturday I enjoyed brunch with my some of my girls. Next week we are going to the State of the Black Union. I feel like I am growing so much closer to my friend M. We are both active in the same church, took classes on the Holy Spirit, and we are fasting together. I have learned so much from talking to her. I appreciate her support, and she is such a lovely and fun person. I feel like God is taking our friendship to a new level.

My fast will be over next weekend. Right now we are on water, fruits, veggies, and baked chicken and fish. The first time I had salmon since I started the fast I got sick. My body wasn't used to it. I feel stronger spiritually and physically. My body feels so clean, and my spirit feels so pure. I've seen signs that the things I am fasting for will come in due time. I plan to continue eating healthier after the fast. During this fast I also decided to abstain from secular music.

I took a test on the gifts of the Holy Spirit, and I scored high on possessing the gift of Faith. As I prayed Thursday night I asked God why so many things in my life are difficult. I usually get what I want in the end, but getting to the goal is ALWAYS full of twists and turns. He revealed to me that he is stretching my Faith!!! He also revealed that I would have a great testimony about how I believed and RECEIVED the things I couldn't physically see at the time. Even if others told me I'd never get those things, I still kept the faith. I thanked the Lord for what he is doing in me. I thanked him for the life, health, wealth, husband, and children that I asked for. I've been standing on Jeremiah 29:11, which states For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Isn't that Scripture powerful? It makes my heart jump!

Okay, so how does my faith relate to me thinking that I'm in love. Please don't think I'm some spooky- deep person, but although I don't know who my husband will be, I am in love with God's promise of what he will be. While many of my peers and people are getting ready for Valentine's Day, I am getting more intimate with and falling more in love with God. Through this intimacy He is showing me that type of man my husband will be, and I think I’m already in love with this man.

Now my girlfriends joke on me because when someone asks me what I want in a man, I usually put my hand on my heart and raise the other hand, get flustered, look up, smile, and blush. Describing this man takes my breath away. It is kind of funny. I guess I just get excited. They say that since I speak so highly of this man that everyone is waiting to see who he will be. It's also been a long time since I've dated anyone, and I've been holding out from physical relations, so I think people want to see who the man I'm holding out for will be. I stopped dating just to date. If I know I don't like a guy, I don't want to spend time with him out of boredom or just to have company.


I asked God to make me his Ester, Sarah, and Ruth. He is slowly molding me. When I prayed for my husband, I asked the Lord to make him the King Xerxes, Abraham, and Boaz that I need him to be. The leader, protector, provider, and lover that I need.

I think I’m in Love with…………

The man who understands that sex is designed for marriage, so he isn't even trying to go there with me. He respects my celibacy. Even during my weak times (I’m not a virgin), he remains strong. The man who says we have to go our separate ways for the night, because it's getting to late, and he doesn't want to put us in a potentially frustrating situation. The man who doesn't want to jeopardize my reputation, so he doesn't even want to do anything that resembles shacking up or spending the night. He's trying to bring others closer to Christ, so he is very careful about his actions. While we abstain from sex before marriage, we both make sure it is a TOP priority in our marriage =). Unfortunately, many couples in this world make sex a priority before marriage, but after the vows they are rarely intimate. I know the devil cracks up at that one. It is pretty sad.

The man who is a provider and priest over his home. Worldly men have described women who want their husband to have a decent job and to be a provider as a gold-digger. This is not always the case. I feel that he doesn't have to be a "baller," but he does the best he can with his income, even if it is not much. It would be great if I didn't have to work the traditional 8.5 hour day while our children were young, but I’m definitely okay if I have to work. Also, ideally my husband as a provider should upgrade, not downgrade my financial situation. I shouldn't be more hungry with him than I was without him. This man is submitted to God and sets the spiritual tone for his household. None of this mom and children go to church while daddy stays home and sleeps mess. Then our children get older and think they don’t have to praise God in church because daddy doesn’t. I'm tired of hearing about these churches that are 90% women and children!!!

The man who I love on, am submitted to (husband), and who gets my heart in a way that no one has had it. The man who knows things about me that no one knows. The person whose leadership I can follow, because I can trust his relationship with God. We don't hurt each other, because we don't want to hurt God.

The man who may be attracted to other women (let's just be real), but he is able to control his flesh. He doesn't let what he sees turn into fantasies that become actions. He is faithful and accountable.

The man (me too!) who works hard to get us through the tough times in our marriage.

The man who when people see us think, “Wow, he's saved, fine, and has a good job. Where did she get him?” LOL!! They will also wonder how he got me. LOL!

There are some other qualities that I've asked for in my husband, but I'm going to keep them a secret for now. Although I am in love with this man and excited about the day we cross paths, I want you to know that I am enjoying my season of singleness. I don't feel lonely or the need to rush things. I'm only 25. I don't feel like my biological clock is ticking. I am complete in the Lord. There are things in my life that God is completing and changing before he sends my husband.

While I'm not dating, and there isn't anyone in my life who I remotely think could be my future husband, I have FAITH that he is coming and that he is going to be great. Our union will be blessed! Because I have FAITH that it is already done, I can do what I need to do without trying to place myself in situations to meet a man or any other unnecessary plotting and scheming. I just need to be the best person I can be for me and God. It's already done!!!

Some things for us to think about…………

During a discussion last night my mentor asked some of us if we would be willing to cook seven days a week if our husbands wanted us to. She described this man as being an awesome person and lover and a solid provider. She also said he does not eat leftovers. Some said yes, but others said they would not have the energy to do that and fulfilling that request is unrealistic in modern times.

Ladies, would you submit to that request?
My answer: Yes, but I would ask if we could have a date night and go out to eat once a week.

Gentlemen: What is the difference between a gold-digger and a traditional woman who likes the idea of her husband being the breadwinner?

According to 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. Is this the way you show love?


BTW--Thank you so much for taking the time to read this blog. I love you, and I keep the readers of this blog in my prayers.

Education: The Power of Knowledge, Discipline, and Submission

The best selling book of all time tells us that my people are destroyed from a lack of knowledge [Hosea 4:6]. As a collective, we understand that without knowledge survival in this world is difficult. We also understand that knowing and still choosing to live an ignorant life is worse than not having knowledge at all.

The educational system is the most accessible means of gaining knowledge and power in America. In contrast to many other countries, American children between the ages of five and sixteen in most states must attend school. Level of education is positively correlated to and a predictor of income. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the average monthly income of a person with a high school diploma is $906, compared to $2,625 for a person with a bachelor’s degree. The average monthly income of individuals with a professional degree is $5,534. Despite knowing the economic advantages of education, many children [and their parents] do not take the educational system seriously. They refuse to submit to the authority of their teachers, discipline in their homes is nonexistent, knowledge is viewed as something useless or nerdy, and as a result of their decisions, they grow up to be powerless adults. I am also aware that there are many people with high levels of education who are also ignorant and powerless. There are also people with low educational attainment who achieve power, because they became knowledgeable and/or business savvy in something.

In a similar manner as the world, without education, submission, discipline, and knowledge we are powerless in God’s kingdom. The most important step to power in God’s kingdom is submission to his word. Submission is difficult, because we are an individualistic society. We do what we want to do, and we put our interests before the interests of others. Before I go any further, I need to clarify submission. From a biblical perspective, submission is universal. Christians are first subject to God [Ephesians 5:21; Peter 1:17], and then to one another [Romans 12:10]. Biblical submission is motivated by faith, hope, love, and results in self-sacrifice (Deffinbaugh 2007). While submission in our crazy world is a matter of authority, biblical submission is putting the interests of others ahead of our own.

Submit to God and be at peace with him; in this way prosperity will come to you. [Job 22:21]

Submission has been greatly misconstrued in our society to the point that when we hear the word submission, we think about abuse, slavery, or sexism. Negative attributes about submission are especially true in the area of marriage. Unfortunately, many societies and churches were quick to teach that women should submit to their husbands [Ephesians 5:22-24], but slow to teach the line below it which states that husbands are called to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word. Husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies... [Ephesians 5:25]. Going out of God’s order, many women submitted themselves to men who didn’t treat them well or who were not submitted to God, and many men taught this passage as a means to oppress.

Submission according to the word of God is not oppression. There is beauty, protection, and order in submission. We are called to submit to our spouses, parents, teachers, and those in charge. However, when submission to one authority conflicts with submission to another, we are subject to the higher authority, which is God! Anything that conflicts with his word is out of order.

Since you died with Christ to the basic principles of this world, why, as though you still
belonged to it, do you submit to its rules? [Colossians 2:20].

Submission is the core of a person's relationship with God. It is the heart of discipleship, because we are not only called to believe in Jesus, but we are also called to follow him (Deffinbaugh 2007). I am submitted to the Word of God, also known as the Bible, which provides instruction for the way God wants me to treat others [Matthew 19:19; Matthew 5:44; Ephesians 4:1-31], how to worship him [Psalm 95:6], my finances [Leviticus 27:30], the kind of man I am supposed to date or marry [Ephesians 5:25-33], the kind of woman I need to be [1Peter 3:1-6], my emotions [1Corinthians 13:4-13; Philippians 4:6], and the list goes on. I am open to the Lord’s discipline, because I know that no discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it [Hebrews 12:11].

Singles are called to be submitted to God [1 Corinthians 7:32]. Once I become married I will be submitted to my husband [and God]. Although I am submitted to the Word of God, I decided to take some advice from my girl Ruth and submit myself to a woman [teacher] who is more mature in the Lord than I am and who can provide me with sound counsel.

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ [Ephesians 5:22].

I asked a woman from church who I admire to mentor me. I also told her that I wanted to be submitted to her and would serve her in any way possible. My submission to her means that I trust her to provide me with Godly counsel when I am not sure about a certain situation. It also means that I will follow her advice. I’m not perfect. I am tempted in certain areas, and there are many things that God is working out in me. I have a master’s degree, so I am pretty educated and have influence by worldly standards, but I need as much knowledge as possible in areas concerning God’s kingdom. Just as I was submitted to the guidance of my mentors during college and grad school, and I need to be submitted to the guidance of my mentors in Christ.

The book of Ruth is one of my favorite books in the bible, because it clearly illustrates how seeking knowledge, submission, and discipline yield power and love. Please take the time to read this short story. In summary, Ruth submitted herself to Naomi, her deceased husband’s mother. Ruth said to Naomi:

Don’t urge me to leave you or turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die and there I may be buried. May the lord deal with me be it ever so severely if anything, but death separates you from me [Ruth 1: 16-17].

Ruth could have left Naomi and remarried, but she decided to submit to her and serve her. Let’s not forget that Ruth’s people were pagans, and she still decided to submit to the God Naomi worshipped. Ruth was richly rewarded for her submission to God and Naomi. Boaz, a wealthy and respected man, found favor in Ruth because of they way she took care of her mother- in- law (discipline/serving). Boaz would not let any man touch Ruth as she gleaned in the fields (protection). Ruth carefully followed Naomi’s instructions (knowledge) for interacting with Boaz. Boaz and Ruth married, and we know their descendants include David and Jesus Christ (power). There are so many other biblical illustrations of how education, knowledge, submission, and discipline resulted in power. Just think about Jesus, Abraham, Hannah, Moses, Job, David, and Esther, to name a few.

I mentioned earlier that my people are destroyed from a lack of knowledge, and what’s even worse is when people know, but are still ignorant. My dear, I am not perfect and there are things on this list that I need to work on, but seriously, how many people say they are Christians and claim to know what the Word says, but are ignorant to it. We say we are Christians, but our actions are in opposition to the word. We educate ourselves in other areas and submit ourselves to junk. However, we fail to educate ourselves in submission to the Lord. We want the perks of a relationship with God, but we don’t want to serve him with our all and die to our old selves. We want God to give us what we want, but we don’t take the time to see what his will is for our lives. In a similar manner, many youth and adults want to be instantly gratified with the money that comes from education, but they don’t want to work and sacrifice to get through high school or to get that business idea going.

It is when we humble ourselves, submit ourselves to the Lord, and accept discipline and his teaching that true power comes. Our lives become enriched with prosperity, love, and peace. As we educate ourselves in current affairs, academia, politics, research, and business, let us also remember to educate our spirits and hearts. As we discipline ourselves in order to achieve our physical and monetary dreams, let’s also remember to discipline our flesh. As we submit to our bosses, government officials, money, and leaders in civic organizations, let’s also remember to submit to the one above. How blessed would our communities be if our doctors, lawyers, business people, athletes, teachers, engineers, researchers, and writers lived according to the word of God? I love you!

Here are some questions to think about:
I’ll answer a few...............

What will you do to ensure that your children respect education?
Make learning fun, provide mentors who work in fields my children are interested in; be active in their school; expose them to art, history, and science exhibits; discipline them; take them on vacations to other countries so they can see how good they have it; make sure they know the history of African American education; introduce them to the Word of God and pray that they accept Jesus and come to know the Lord in an intimate way
What is knowledge?
Who are you submitted to?
God, my mother, my mentors, my pastor, some of my friends, my boss
Does your pride prevent you from submitting to others?
What are you submitted to?
To whom is the person you are dating , married to, or like submitted?
Dating/Married--N/A. I know attractive men, but I don't like anyone right now. My closest friends know that one week I can like someone and then one day I don't. To date, no one has been able to hold my attention. I once dated a guy who was not submitted to God or anyone. He did what he wanted to do and his way was always right. All he cared about was money, even though he came from a wealthy and humble family. It was disastrous and a learning lesson =).
How can you be more powerful?
The best way for me to be powerful is to have a beautiful spirit to match the credentials on paper. The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law [Galatians 5:22-23]. Gentleness is often looked at as a weakness, especially for the new millennium women of today, but I feel the most influential when I am gentle, cool, calm, and collected.
Can you accept discipline and criticism?
Criticism--For most of my life I couldn’t. I was hard on myself. Now I can be criticized and “keep it moving.”
Discipline-- yes
What areas of your life are in opposition to the Word?
I have to work harder than most people to not worry about situations. I know worry is doubt.
I have to check myself to make sure I am loving those who don't treat me well.

About ME.................

Alright. The people have spoken. Here it is.............

I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior on December 31, 2004 at the Potter's House in Dallas, TX. I grew up in a "Christian" home, was reared in parochial schools with mandatory religion classes, and I went to church (every now and then my first year of grad school), but I didn't really know the Lord. He wasn't personal to me; rather he was routine. He was the thing you did, because you were told to or everyone else was doing it. Although I was a nice person, I was not submitted to the Word of God. I saw nothing wrong with doing what you want to do on Friday and Saturday nights and then playing Christian on Sundays.

The night I accepted Christ an indescribable feeling came over me during praise and worship and Bishop Jakes' sermon. I cried and cried tears of joy and repentance. I knew in my heart that this was the end of my life as I knew it, and that my walk was beginning. I knew I had to submit to the Word and find a church home that would feed me spiritually. When I returned to the Triangle, a friend introduced me to WOCC, and I felt at home. I joined a little later. At that point I didn't get too involved in church, because I didn't really want to be accountable to anyone.

Also, at that point in my life I knew what I was supposed to be doing, but I had one foot in and the other out. I could feel God tugging on me as I battled with knowing that many of my actions weren't right and at the same time wanting to "fit in" with everyone else. I was slowly dieing to myself and becoming brand new in Christ, and it was not easy. One week I was on the right path, and the next I fell hard. When I wasn't doing right, I felt guilty or a conviction, and I knew that life wasn't supposed to feel like that. I knew that if I just followed God's promise that I wouldn't feel like that anymore and would be blessed, but I continued to have one foot in and the other out.

God was patient with me, and He kept giving me chances to fully yield to Him. I can remember each of those times. I can also remember my resistance. There where so many instances in which I fell out of God's protection, and if I would have just submitted to Him ............

One day God placed me in a position where I had no choice, but to submit. I think He had enough of me =). I fully gave my life to God. I submitted my all and rejoiced in His covering. I promised to serve Him and follow His Word. My relationship with Him was now intimate. Although I have reaped many blessings from this intimacy, I would serve Him even if it meant receiving nothing. My life is not perfect, but there is a peace and happiness. The "hard times" don't get the best of me.

So to answer the question about why I blog, and if I feel uncomfortable putting my business out there.........

When I fully gave my life to God, I asked him to use me. I know he's doing just that. Before last year I was extremely private. To stand in front of people and tell my life story, to show you my wrongs and how I overcame them, and to just talk about me is not like me. Maybe my experiences will show people that they are not alone, that the world may say one thing, but God says another, and that there is protection in submission to the Lord. I want to keep it real, and talk about the hard things. I want to show people that you don't have to have a perfect past in order to come to know Him. Blogging, being submitted to earthly people, and being involved in my church keep me accountable for my actions. I want to bring people to Christ, and I try my best to lead by example. Now I am accountable to you, because I can't say one thing on this blog and do another. I can't do one thing and then work in a children's ministry the next day.

To date, I have not backed up much of what I've been saying on this blog with biblical references, because most of the people who read it before were saved and already knew where I got what I'm saying from. I will include references. I'm excited about this journey, and I hope you enjoy it too!


I love you!

Nice Guys Finish First!!!!!!

Life has been good. I went to a game party on Friday, and it was fun. I think I lost my black card, because I don't know how to play Spades =). I left the party early, since I had an exam on Saturday morning. I spent Saturday afternoon with my friend B. He told me that his first impression of me was that I was very antisocial. I'll admit that I can be very reserved, but once people get to know me, they realize that I am talkative and funny. B. now knows that I'm not antisocial. B., thanks for believing in second impressions. It was a good thing that we hung out, because he noticed that I needed new tires. I got them yesterday.

On Sunday I had a good after church talk with M. On Sunday afternoon T. came over and we went for a walk at Lake Johnson, since the weather was so nice. We are both fasting, so we had to take a couple of breaks to recover our energy, but we made it through the course. I am already slim, and I am loosing weight from this fast, so please don't think I'm anorexic when you see me.

We talked about the things we are believing for as we fast. I am believing for my father to be saved, to be in positions that are God's will for my life, to have zero debt, for the well-being of my friends and family, and for the safety and blessings of my future husband and children. T. and I also discussed how thankful we are to have supportive girlfriends. I'm realizing that there are so many females who just can't get along with each other. It's so petty and tragic. I've never been a girl who only wanted to hang with the guys. I need girlfriends.

K. called last night. It was so nice to catch up with her. We've grown so much in these last couple of years and joked on each other about how we used to be and the type of guys we used to date. Seriously K., what were we thinking? What were we smoking? How could we think it was cute to date a man who wants to be uncommitted, sleep with us, and talk to other people when we knew that wasn't what our hearts desired. I'm glad we've moved away from what can I do for him to what can he do for me. The guys we go out with and are attracted to now are so different from the guys we used to like. We've moved away from the arrogant brothers who look great on paper. We are now President and Vice President of team NICE guy!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nice guys have the following qualities: nice, value relationships, peaceful, chivalrous, leadership, and submitted to the word of God. They treat everyone well and seek to do good. They strive to be excellent husbands, fathers, brothers, sons, and lovers. They are leaders in their home and community. They are greatly appreciated by the beautiful women who love them. We're smitten by their heart and have no problems submitting to their authority in a marriage context. They may not always be a perfect ten on the physical level, but there is a physical attraction and their heart makes them drop dead gorgeous.

Nice guys, PLEASE don't change. You are where it's at. It's just that so many young women get caught up with the wrong type of men. They fail to notice you, even though they know in their hearts that they need someone like you. One day they wake up and realize that the guy of their dreams was there all along. They just thought of you as a friend, because the wrong guy had them sprung. Some women are fortunate that it's not too late, and the nice guy is still around. Others will live a good portion of their life in regret for not dating you once they realize the wrong guy never had intentions of marrying them because he had another girlfriend, fiance, was arrogant, or didn't have his life together. Then they see you get into a relationship and provide your wife with all the emotional, spiritual, and financial stability they hoped the wrong guy would give them. Another tragedy is when young women marry the wrong guy because they were sprung and deceived by their hearts. Now they spend the rest of their lives in the marriage from hell.

Although I do attract a better man now that I've matured, some of the wrong guys still try to date me. I am quick to tell them that I'm not interested. My instincts go on red alert when they come my way. My sign says "Only Accepting Applications from Nice Guys." Nice guys, you don't finish last. I know plenty of beautiful sisters who only want nice guys. Keep showing your interest and don't think that all women want a bad boy or thug. The women who want the wrong men are usually immature, so you shouldn't want to be with them anyway. Please stay nice. Know you deserve a woman who appreciates your love and kindness.

Be Encouraged.................

For the first time in my life I finally understand how people who claimed to be so saved fall. I'm NOT talking about the people who left church because their pastor did something shady or because someone in their church hurt them. I'm NOT talking about the people who were raised in church and went for tradition and then stopped going. I mean this is the South, who didn't go to church at one point in their life?

I'm talking about the people who made sure everyone knew they were saved. They were the people who knew and followed the Word, active in their churches, and had no problem worshiping the Lord. They treated everyone well and were always willing to give someone spiritual guidance. Others admired how they could be so "good" in a world full of temptation. They didn't club, drink, or get down with violence of any kind, and always found other ways to have fun. I'm sure you can think of someone like that. However, one day they snapped.

Then you see them doing everything they claimed they wouldn't do because they were saved. They're drunk and crunk acting a fool in the club, sleeping with people the old them would have never thought about being with, stopped going to church, and pretty much seem just a little off or crazy. They are wilder and crazier than that wild person you knew who wasn't claiming to be a person of Lord. What happened to this person?

So as you know I'm fasting and taking more time to grow closer to God. My dear, the closer I am growing to God and accepting God's will for my life, the more evil and temptation comes my way. Last week I battled and had to fight a million times harder than ever to keep my feet on solid ground. On one side of my head I felt victory and saw changes that I new I needed to make. However, the other side of my head was full of reminders of what I used to be and what I was never going to be. Some things that are considered bad were starting to seem appealing. I felt like I was being pulled down to something I didn't want to be. Not knowing what was going on with me I turned to an elder in my church for counsel.

She explained to me that this is quite common in people who are trying to do good and live right. Negative people and the enemy arn't happy with this, so of course they are pulling you down and bringing road blocks into your life. My dear, it seemed like just about everything that could go wrong in a persons life went wrong in mine, and I was starting to become weary, doubtful, and complacent. She recommended that whenever I feel this happening to (1) identify it, (2) go to the Word, and (3) speak life to it. She also prayed for me. I am exceptionally fine.

My dear, I was at the point where either I was going to push further and be encouraged by the Lord or let the enemy get the best of me and fall. I knew the choice that I was going to make. So many saints fall, because they don't know how to push further when this happens. They let the problems and attacks of the enemy get the best of them. They spiral downward on a path to craziness and some never recover. Because of their immoral and crazy actions, they start to feel like they are not worthy to be in a relationship with God again. We know this is NOT true.

My dear, be encouraged and fight to keep your feet on solid ground. Just because you are saved doesn't mean the enemy isn't going to try to get you or that life is going to be a bed of roses. Remember if you and the enemy were not in opposition, he'd have no reason to mess with you. Do what you have to do to keep winning. Seek counsel if you have to. I love you!

Are You Exceptional?

There's a saying that Exceptional people have Exceptional problems, but they come out of them Exceptionally. My dear, are you exceptional? I know you are. Know that you have the strength to triumph over the storms that come your way. You will triumph over the the glass ceiling that has you boxed in. You will leap over the dream blockers, who don't want you to succeed, because they don't want you to look better than them. Your real estate investments, career goals, political dreams, and business ventures are done; just keep doing what you're doing.

You will conquer the generational abuse, greed, brokenness, debt, gossip, jealously, alcoholism, neglect, disabilities, and health problems that have plagued your family tree. They will stop with you, and your children will have a family like your tree has never seen before. You may be in school taking out loans to pay for your education, or your mortgage and your car payment may prevent you from doing other things you'd like to do, but know that one day you will be a lender and not a borrower. You can and will marry, even though the statistics concerning marriage in the black community look deathly. I know what my Statistician says. You may have hurt someone, but know that you are forgiven. You may have been labeled as bad, arrogant, crazy, a player, ugly, fat, a cheater, dirty, easy, snobby, lame, a slow learner, dumb, or shady, but know that those labels don't have to count against you. Shake them off. Let Him transform you. You are brand new.

I know that the same people who doubted your abilities will have no choice but to trust you. They will be coming to you for advice one day. My dear, you are exceptional! You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you, and if you are eager to do good, who can really harm you? Take the limits off of you. There is increase and favor all around you. Just grab it!